"all the things"

I'm not sure what made me do it, there must have been wine and a very convincing Jew involved, but before I knew it there I was at a bar on a ... match.com date! I must confess it was actually my second (the first had been a very clean cut conservative sort who had "all the things" <- fabulous phrase I have adopted from my fabulous friends Nicole and Andrea, sums up exactly "all the things" I'm trying to explain, except a sense of humor when it came to liberals, well sense of humor yes but appreciation for, not so much) So, second ... match.com date not too shabby! Totally cute guy, well dressed, sense of humor (with appreciation for the boulderite in me) a real job, real condo, educated, interesting... once again "all the things." We end up in a small east village bar, a few local beers and some amazing sweet potato fries that never quite seem to be eaten because for some reason this guy can actually hold a conversation. I'm telling you I was smitten by this point! He's got all the characteristics I tend to appreciate (some of them must be nutty on a subconscious level) including the East Coast connection, business education, and my most very favorite... the crazy family- both of us admit of course we must be the black sheep. (disclaimer: as crazy as families may be I have learned to acknowledge there are no real black sheep in crazy families, wear your diagnosis with pride) So, as the date comes to an end theres a catastrophe of course... his credit card is declined. Yes. I do realize I should have run for the fucking door at this point, but the "non black sheep" in me decides theres a three strike rule somewhere and for the love of Chase Utley I am sticking to it! This guys got one strike and as far as I'm concerned, thats only 1/3 bad! (I must admit and give credit where its due, that at the point of making a heinous impression where I should have been swooning, he did compensate a million times over so this was only counted in the end as half a strike- kind of like a foul tip? )

The next week we decide to meet for happy hour, sushi and drinks. He's not only picked a fabulous restaurant but hes got drinks and food at the table by the time I get there! He's good... too good. So, I explain that I hate to be rude but I have to snag my friend from the airport who has come to visit me for the weekend. We finish up, he walks me the 12 blocks to my car and suggests I bring my friend out for drinks at a nearby wine bar, he knows the bartender, it will be mellow and easy and "all the things." Not a half bad idea so I do.

Wine goes down well, we take the elevator up to check out his apartment, view of downtown goes down even better, my opinion goes up even more, and we go back downstairs to my apartment raving about my luck.

Day 2: "All the things" guy offers to take my friend to drink and golf for the day while I'm at work so I don't have to take the day off... up, up and up! They spend the day together and as soon as I'm off work were all together again for happy hour. We spend the night out getting drinks, getting to know each other all while embracing a fabulous local bar. This is amazing, its easy! hes cute! its close!

Day 3: Off to breakfast and discussion of all the heinous things vodka makes you feel the next day. Thank goodness for mimosas or else hangovers would be a real pain in the ass. We decide to check out a little of San Diego and in honor of a fabulous lady's birthday we head to the beach for drinks and a bonfire... ALL of us. "All the things" has completely hit it off with my friends, my out of town visitor and is slowing proving to be ever more impressive. We sit down at a table and run into a few of my friends from work. Of course, he's done it again! The boy can do no wrong! As I'm sitting there contemplating what on Earth I did in this lifetime to experience such luck so quickly, "all the things" goes to get a pitcher of margaritas. (this is post "tequila cures the soul" conversation so it proves hes been paying attention) We toast to a great weekend and suddenly I'm thankful I have tequila in my hand. I check one more time to make sure I understood correctly what hes said and sure enough I did... yup he for sure said,"I killed my dad."

Bottoms up!

Disclaimer: after enough research I did discover he had not actually succeeded in killing his father, however the attempt had been made... with a baseball bat nonetheless. Here's to that third strike!